i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
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