this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
