woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
