she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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