the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
