so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!�
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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