Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Randomize
