if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize