did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
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