Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Randomize
