You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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