It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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