Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Randomize
