Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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