i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
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