i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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