I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
