were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
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