she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
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