he shaved USA in his pubs
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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