Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
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