Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize