it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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