I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
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