i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
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