You can't special order awesome
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Randomize
