i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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