so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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