Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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