im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize
