my phone needs a breathalizer
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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