break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
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