Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Randomize
