Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
Randomize
