Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Randomize
