I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Randomize