A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
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