Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Randomize
