Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
sarcasm needs its own font
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
