does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
I just gift wrapped bread.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Randomize
