dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
You're a waste of cheezeits
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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