we have pet lesbian snakes
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Randomize
