oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
it's great music for shaving your balls
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Randomize
