Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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