"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
My liver just had a heart attack.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
