If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
Randomize
