yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
