His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
