Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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