just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Randomize
