u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
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