I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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