yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I have already put on my inside pants.
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