last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Randomize
