my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
