I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
You ate ashes out of my bong
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Randomize
