Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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