im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Randomize
