I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
My bed smells like the plague
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize