i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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