what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
