I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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