Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Randomize
