Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Houston, we have a blender
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize
