Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Randomize
