Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Randomize
