Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Randomize
