she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
